She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
