It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
