So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize