We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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