My boss' voice literally gives me gas
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
