Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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