well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
