I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
