I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
