You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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