someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
