We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
