Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
