By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
