Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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