Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
