I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
