He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
