even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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