I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's never too late to be topless.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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