Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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