I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
