Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
