The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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