Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
