i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The police scanner is talking about you again....
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize