He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
