Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
