I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Define "chronic" masturbator.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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