I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize