Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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