I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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