Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
