Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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