i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
