you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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