allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I want is dick and wine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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