im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
