i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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