i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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