I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
