So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The air taste purple.
Randomize