...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
