Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
birth control should be required to get into college
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
