i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
