There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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