My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
