What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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