Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
