I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I love you.
Bad choice
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
