I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
