Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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