It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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