I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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