I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize