your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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