He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize