Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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