This girl is more easily done than said...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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