how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize