so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize