I wish you could order shots online.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
