I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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