Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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