therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
