i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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