i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
