You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
