Yo dont text me then not text me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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